Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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