Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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