i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
