honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize