what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
