By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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