If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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