i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
