Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This baby is an asshole
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have aggressive nipples.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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