And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
