lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
