Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
