So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize