I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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