how can u be prego again
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Randomize
