The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
