i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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