your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
