I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your penis caused this!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize