I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
