I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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