Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
