i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
