he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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