omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
