Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
