Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
