I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize