i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Someone signed my nipple.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
