First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
