whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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