You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
