So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
