I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i out mim tonsoeep
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize