I need help removing her.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
