So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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