hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
