Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
