; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This girl is more easily done than said...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
