she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
