Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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