She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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