I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He better not be in your backpack
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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