I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
