You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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