Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize