I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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