I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
