I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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