i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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