she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
ttyl tear gas
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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