i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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