I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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