Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
