In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
