Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
