You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
