I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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