Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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