i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
