On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
