How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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