And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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